Accepting the Struggles: Errors in Executive Functioning

There are many ways I have navigated struggling with executive functioning in the past. As a therapist with ADHD, diagnosed in elementary school, I am honest and open with my clients who also struggle with ADHD, with what I have found successful, and offer suggestions from other resources. The problem is no matter how many tricks we use or how we utilize routine to limit the chaos something always slips through the cracks. There has to be an acceptance that there is no way to "fix" oneself but that the goal of implementing strategies is to find a way to be at peace with the ways in which we are different.

In her book Radical Acceptance,

Tara Brach (2003) writes:

Radical acceptance is the necessary antidote to

years of neglecting ourselves, years of judging

and treating ourselves harshly, years of rejecting

this moment’s experience. Radical acceptance is

the willingness to experience ourselves and our

life as it is.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. However, the impact of ADHD goes beyond these well-known symptoms, often causing significant challenges in what is known as "Executive Functioning." Executive functioning refers to our brain's CEO, overseeing our ability to plan, organize, and prioritize tasks effectively.

Over the summer I missed a scheduled session with a client and felt an overwhelming sense of failure. I looked at all of the strategies that I had put in place to remember what I had on the schedule and wondered how had I forgotten. It was hard to accept that I had made this error as I thought of the way it had inconvenienced my client and how the tools that normally keep me organized failed to meet that need. My self-worth as a therapist was immediately questioned. I apologized profusely for my mistake but I still couldn’t let it go. It is hard to untangle the negative narratives we are exposed to. I had to find a way to accept my mistake and shift the negative thoughts in my mind, reminding myself of my strengths that positively affect my ability to be a good psychotherapist instead of this minor infraction. Instead of dwelling on the mistake I looked to how I could attempt to reduce the probability of this happening again, I added another tool to the toolbox to aid in organization. I quickly ordered a white board weekly planner to add another visual cue helping me feel a bit more in control of my brain for the moment at least.